Starting Over

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

            Two years ago, I decided to start over. I realized that I wasn’t as satisfied with myself as I knew that I could and should be. How does one completely change everything about themselves?  The hardest part of re-evaluating my life was deciding how much of me could stay the same and figuring out what needed to change. You could almost compare it to creating blueprints… The blueprints to life.

I think of it like this:

            Imagine that after years of saving up and making plans, you finally are able to build your dream home. After a few months of enjoying your perfect home, your house goes up in flames due to an unexpected electrical fire. You can’t bear to accept the fact that you have lost everything you had worked so hard for and put all of your time and energy into. As the reality hits you that you’ve lost all of your prized possessions, you almost wish that you had never finished building your dream house- You had just enough time to get used to living in your dream home to forget how much you appreciated it, and it just slipped away right in front of you. After you’ve had time to take in what has happened, you decide that it is time to start building a new home. You could spend all of your time dwelling on the fact that you don’t have the budget to build a fancy patio like you had in the former home, but you know that it won’t do any good. You decide to find excitement in the fact that your new house will have new features that weren’t available to you in your old home and that is always exciting! After accepting that your old home is gone, you can look forward to all the things your new house will offer- It isn’t your dream home, but you can make the best of it.

Re-building my life has been much like re-building your dream home.

            I was so happy with everything that I had accomplished before I was diagnosed. I had a lot of friends and I was proud of everything that I had done before I became sick. My body underwent an “unexpected electrical fire” and I had to start over from scratch- finding the things that were most important to me and making the best out of every situation. My life isn’t what I would have ever dreamed of living, but I choose to be happy.

2 thoughts on “Starting Over

  1. My two year old is seeing a geneticist this month to investigate all his food sensitivities. Your sense of hope and humor makes me smile. We are having some success with LDA shots. They are considered “experimental” in the US and therefore not covered by insurance. Still it’s been worth it that he can now eat a few more foods and we’ve stopped the elemental.

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